on the other side

after months, years, really, of artistic constipation... i wrote a song today. it's partially about jennifer knapp coming out. partially about a guy i used to know. the thing that those two have in common is that they have these (at least seemingly) integral conflicts in their lives; being creative, vibrant, inspiring people that talk about God, yet are homosexual or struggle deeply with sexual sin. the questions that bounce around in my mind are... who are these people really? i look up to these people in different ways. is it ok to respect and be inspired by the good part of a person's life, while ignoring the things that seemingly invalidates the good?

[i'd like to disclaimer that jennifer knapp is not something i'm passing judgment on here. her statements have made me think, and challenged me to really deal with the issue of homosexuality and how i think the church should respond to it. i'd also like to disclaimer that the person i knew seems to be on the road to recovery... it's just not a road i get to share.]

okay, so song.

looking up

two things at once
girl how could you be
trying to reconcile who you love
with who you've spent a lifetime preaching
and what you don’t get is why everyone’s so upset

i don’t know you anymore
the kind of songs you spun
inspired me and formed
what i wanted to become
i don’t know you anymore
you're forcing me to make
a call i’m not ready for
a stance i'm not ready to take

looking up to you has set my room spinning
and i can’t say who you are just now
one thing that i heard that i believe
is don’t trust a fruitless tree
would taking you for what you are
make such a fool of me

two men at once
kid how could you be
chasing the whole town
and coming back to me
and what you just don't get is why i can't forget

i can’t wrap my head around
who you claim to be
deafened in the sound
you’re singing in two keys
what is it you wanna be

what is it you wanna be